You know you're a Yukoner when...

• You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
• Many of your friends have elaborate saunas, but no running water.
• Your tires are only round in summertime.
• You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
  
• Every street person you see in Vancouver looks like a neighbor.
• You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
• At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
• When hiking, you can't decide whether to load your shotgun with slugs to protect from bears or #7 shot to repel mosquitos.
• You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
• You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck so often.
• You send Christmas gifts of your precious premium moose jerky to your uncle in Toronto, and he gives it to his dog, who rolls in it.
• The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
• The only flower you can grow outside a greenhouse is fireweed.
• There is only one shopping mall in town.
• While canoeing on the Yukon River you automatically say "Guten Tag" to all passing canoeists.
• You buy an umbrella while visiting Vancouver and have to read the instruction manual.
• You find -60 degrees a mite chilly.
• You visit a beach at a Mexican resort and go into sexual shock.
• When someone says "The Nations' Capital" you instinctively picture First and Ogilvie (site of the liquor store)
• You can drive from Whitehorse to Faro with a litre of ice cream in the back seat,and it is harder when you arrive than when you left.
• You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorel boots.
• You can play road hockey on skates.
• You know the 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction. You freak out whenever you see prices for food in Vancouver grocery stores because everything is so cheap.
• You were once knocked down and run over by a dog team on main street.
• Your freezer breaks down but nothing thaws.
• You visit a friend in Vancouver dressed in your best and he says he keeps smelling wood smoke.
• You have to wait until 2 AM to light your fireworks because that's the dimmest part of the day on July 1.
• You wear sandals in June, and walk around the snow piles because if you don't wear them now, you never get the chance.
  
• You drive to and from work in the dark.
• You suspect that many men are carrying a full day's worth of frozen survival rations in their beards.