Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Signs you might have kids

1. The most obvious, of course, is the presence of the actual children. But just in case...
2. Your furniture is arranged in order to block off rooms, hide cords, and protect plants. It is a feng shui nightmare.
3. Half of your monthly grocery bill is diapers. The other half is formula. A fortune goes in, a fortune comes out.
4. The "new release" section of the video store has movies you've never even heard of.
5. You think it's perfectly normal to eat dinner at 4:30. The restaurant is empty except for your clan and the busload of senior tourists.
6. You've started referring to yourself in the third person. "Mummy is having lunch now. Don't touch Mummy's drink."
7. Going to the bathroom alone is a luxury. You pretend to have diarrhea so your spouse won't question why you have to go every half hour.
8. You can name all the Teletubbies, sing the Barney song, and do a mean imitation of Dora.
9. This list is almost too long for you to read in one sitting.

6 comments:

OldHorsetailSnake said...

10. When the children learn to talk, they will constantly ask: "Why?"

Lisa said...

You nailed it on the head!

Michele said...

Oh good, so it's not just me then.

Thin_Overeater said...

10. You think sleeping until 8AM is late.

wendy said...

Tammy your a hillarious writer! We should get together and write a book about mother hood. Warn all those poor saps yet to come lol!!

Mimi said...

LOL these were all great. As a Mother of 4 I can totally relate to all of these!

Thanks for the laughs. I am here via Michele's and I will be back