Tuesday, September 20, 2005

At least I try.

I decided to make the Boy Terror some healthy muffins. He's turning out to be a bit of a picky eater, yet still manages to be the largest, heaviest child ever.
I started out by buying all kinds of crap that normally would never be found in my kitchen. I got wheat germ, rolled oats, pumpkin, and even low sodium baking powder. I dug out the blender. I sprayed the muffin tin. I separated eggs, blended and pureed, measured and stirred. I used more math in an hour than I've had reason to use in the last year. I made a total mess of the kitchen. Eventually, the goods were in the oven, the house smelled like pumpkin and spice, and I felt very proud of myself.
20 minutes later, the smoke alarm was wailing, Girl Terror was screeching and hiding under a crib, smoke was billowing from the oven.
After all that work, I produced a dozen lumps of charcoal with a soft, raw pumpkin center. I'm thinking that tomorrow, I will hand the kids each a PopTart and tell them "The box says it has 9 essential nutrients. Eat up."

5 comments:

Meghan said...

I am sure they will love the pop tarts!

Those Kashi blueberry waffles are good. And MUCH easier to make than liquid center pumpkin muffins.
A for effort! Funny post too.

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with ya. I have Low-fat lemon muffin mix in the cupboard, but I am sitting here eating a store bought daffy apple.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Sending those brats Hansel and Gretel your way...

Michele said...

Pop tarts! Now you're thinking.
Hey, they haven't killed my kids yet.

Twisted Cinderella said...

Too funny. I love to bake and cook but I have definitely had days when I was less than June Cleaver and I was just praying that I didn't set off the smoke alarm