Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The boob tube and us.

Why doesn't anyone make a kids show that parents can tolerate? Is it just me, or does everyone long for valium when they hear the opening bars of "Dora The Explorer"? While watching the tube, I suspect my Terrors are thinking stuff like "la la la, my friend on TV, la la la poop, la la". Who knows. Here's a brief rundown on what I'm thinking:
What is with that child's head? Why is it shaped like a huge football? Her parents seem normal, perhaps it's not genetic. Who dresses her? Every day with the pink shirt and orange shorts. If she has to wear the same thing every day, couldn't they find clothes that match? Arghhh! The shouting! Somebody needs to teach Dora to use an "inside voice" when she's talking!
Why doesn't anyone but Franklin have a real name? His friends don't call him "Turtle", so why does he call them Bear, Skunk, Badger, etc.?
Caillou. What the hell kind of name is that? That kid is four? Why is he still so friggin' whiny, then? Things she will learn from this show: Names do not follow any spelling rules, and whining gets you everything.
Again with the name confusion. Sister Bear, Brother Bear, Mama Bear, and Papa Bear are friends with animals who all get real names, like Franklin. But the main family here is stuck with title/names.
If George Shrinks and his father are so damn smart, and can invent all those vehicles for the little guy, why can't they figure out how to make George a normal size?

Hubby brought home a video of The Wiggles on Sunday. Before then, we'd been blessedly wiggle free. I didn't watch much of the video, just enough for these few thoughts: Oh my freakin' god. Whatever drugs those guys are on, I want some. Now, please make it stop and go away. Stop the insanity!

15 comments:

tales north said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA I feel the exact same way! The other ones that annoy me are: that stupid kid Daniel Cook, and those two girl clowns between all the shows... I wonder if they have boyfriends... do they role play? ewwwwww nasty!

rachel said...

I can't take Dora's shouting either. Would you believe my husband wanted to name our son Franklin?!? After Benjamin Franklin (we were living in Philadelphia), but STILL.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I am so lucky. I was born when the entertainment was kick the can, tag, "doctor", rubber-band guns, The Shadow, Amos & Andy, Lum and Abner. Especially "doctor."

Kristen said...

My daughter is obsessed with Dora. I thought it was cute at first. She had all these Dora books that someone had given us and now they're all falling apart from so much wear and tear. I saw her bring something to my husband for him to read to her and he looks at it and says, "I am not reading you a Dora coloring book". I've got to turn her on to something else...anything. Oh, and Calliou is a total whiner. Luckily my kids don't like it...

danelle said...

Evidently you have never seen "Boobah" or you would be able to confidently exclaim that you are indeed, certfiably insane. It's like a bad acid trip on steroids.

Sleeping Mommy said...

Amen to all of it and it's frightening how many of those you listed are thoughts I have voiced aloud on several occassions.

debby said...

You are gonna love this . RECENTLY (remember,my kids are 19 and 22) I did a search on ebay and half.com looking for a video my kids had when they were little - It was a "Pooh" video and I miss it - it was very musical (yes, we have already determined that I have a scew loos) and I WANT to find this video!

danelle said...

Thanks for the comment re: Emma's bad week..lol.

Yes, I watched it. Holy Crap is right!! No surprise who went home, hm?

Jenny said...

Haaaa! Calliou is on my permanent banned list.

netchick said...

Ah yes. The Wigglies. They kind of scare me, actually. Aliens.

Michele sent me!

TC said...

You don't even want to venture in the land of terror that is Boobahs. They are banned at our house.

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

It gets worse. Have you ever seen an episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy? It makes me want to kill small animals!

Raehan said...

I saw the Wiggles in concert live when Rachel was 20 months.

Then I stopped the insanity. Last kiddie concert for us.

JustLinda said...

Oh and what about Little Bear? I mean, Mother and Father bear have clothes on as do the grandparents. Why does Little Bear run around nekkid then??

The Franklin one bugs the crap out of me!!!

aka_monty said...

Oh dear, I totally agree. I've often wondered why Franklin is the only one with a 'real' name...
And Caillou was banished from this house after one episode. *shudder*
WHAT a brat~I'd've busted his butt a hundred times per show.