Wednesday, October 19, 2005

What no one tells you on your wedding day.

Remember when you were young, and everything was romantic? You'd do anything to sleep next to your latest Love Of My Life. Camping? Romantic all the way. Snuggling together, sharing a sleeping bag, giggling at your cold noses. A single bed in a dorm room was plenty big for the two of you. The first major all-night sleepover, you found it sweet that he curled all the blankets around his kissable face. He adored the fact that you liked to sleep on his pillow with him. If you kept getting woken up by the strange new legs in the bed, it was no problem. After all, sleep is so highly overrated!
My, how things change. Now, camping sounds like torture. You only have room in the tent for one person to be comfortable, so you sleep in shifts. Your nose, feet, and everything in between is cold. A single bed means one of you is sleeping on the floor. You find yourself wishing he'd wrap the blankets a little tighter around his face so maybe the stench of his breath will suffocate him. He rips the pillow out from under your head, snarling as he rolls over. Your legs are covered in stubble, and his toenails could cut stone. Waking each other up at night is something that only happens in cases of extreme emergency, like a puke covered child has wandered in the room.
Maybe this is why the TV shows used to keep the married couples in separate beds. It wasn't to avoid offending anyone. It was because the audience would never believe that those people could be so syrupy sweet to each other all day if they had to spend all night together, too.

7 comments:

Prego said...

I'd have love to have seen Ricky give Lucy a 'dutch oven' and have her go into one of her trademark "Waaaaaaah"s. I'd imagine the Rice and Beans dish at the club Tropicana would have worked up some lethal babalu.

carol said...

How things change as we age!!
Now a good night sleep is soooooo nice! And important too, just to get through the next day!

TC said...

Too funny!!!! Great post!

Tyra said...

This post is too true! I remember when my husband and I were dating we would share my twin bed and loved every minute of it.

Now we have a king sized bed and he'd better be on his side of the bed and for God's sake don't breath on me, lol.

I guess you could say the honeymoon is over.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

So THAT is where all the flowers have gone?

Raehan said...

Well, I wonder if the single beds was also a form of birth control back then.

But I know exactly what you mean. I look at the beds we used to sleep in together and think, we couldn't have.

Karyn said...

What is WITH men's toenails??? They are like razor blades.

And I dated my husband for five years before we got married, and we lived together for one, and he NEVER snored. Now he does. There should be some kind of compensation for me.