Thursday, July 06, 2006

Lessons in Moving

Moving is not fun. Surprise! Betcha didn't know that, eh? Just in case you are planning to move sometime soon, I've compiled a list of things you need to know.
-Friends are crucial. If you don't have any, go make some. Choose big, burly guys, and folks who just can't say "no". Stay away from friends who have bad backs. Not to point fingers or anything, but Scott was not a good mover. He did an excellent job of fetching drinks, and disconnecting electronics, though, so we forgive him.
-If you have a stacking kind of washer/dryer, sell it with the house. Do NOT attempt to haul the damn thing up the stairs, out the door, and onto the truck. If you feel you must take the machine, be warned that it might not fit into the new house. You might have to leave it in the driveway overnight whilst all obstacles (oil monitor, front door) are removed. And then, when you call your friends to repeat the hernia-ruptured spleen-aneurysm-causing trip down the stairs, be prepared for them to say not nice things to you.
-Hook up the offending laundry machine ASAP. That way, when your child has a poop that explodes up the back of his shorts and into his shirt and leaves a nasty smear on the door as he slides down (poop on floor now), you will be able to clean all the poop covered clothes right away.
-Has your child had a cold lately? How about a ear infection? Exploding poop? Get ready, because moving releases all the germs into the air, and the children will get the plague. Buy medicine. Stock up on Kleenex. And for god's sake, hook up the laundry machine.
-Remember wrapping the dishes in bubble wrap, and carefully placing them in the box, and tucking that box into a spot so you would be able to find it to un-pack and eat off of real dishes? You will never see that box again. Royal Chinet is the best I've found. Don't microwave styrofoam.
-In order to make your husband truly crazy in the first days of the new house, you MUST move the furniture around regularly. Just keep shoving boxes out of the way while you rearrange the couches.
-Everyone says to unpack the kid's toys right away to make them more comfortable in the new house. Don't do it, unless you relish the thought of stepping on Little Ponies, tiny dinosaurs, and pink plastic teacups each and every time you carry a box through the house.
-Basically, don't move. Don't do it. There is nothing wrong with an hour long commute. Your old house isn't too small, it's just getting cozy. The grass is always greener and all that. Trust me, you don't want to do this.


Mary P. said...

Don't move. I second that. We did it two years ago, and I swear, I will have to be hauled from this place, kicking and screaming before I do it again.

In all my moves (many), I never had to move a sick kid. Urgh. I can only imagine - and shudder.

But it's done, now, right?? "Just" the unpacking!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is that you are back, you didn't get lost, so all is well with the world.

Unpack the boxes in your own sweet time. If you got hot dogs, you're good for a week, at least.

Dreama said...

I hate moving and have had similar issues. Had to take off the handrail to get the washer into the basement...and even then it got a few dings and dents as they squeezed it down the stairwell. There are always injuries too. I have moved so many times I can do it in my sleep, but I HATE IT. Being a military brat, I moved very often, and I think I am on my 27th home...ick. Glad to hear you are all comes the unpacking and making it all fit.