Friday, August 04, 2006

A decade of love.

Today is our 10th anniversary. Time flies when you're having fun, I guess. We went out for dinner, just the two of us, and hit the book store for awhile before coming home. I've been trying to write a lovely, mushy post about our decade of love, but lately I'm just not in the writing mood. So before I sat down tonight to blog, I asked Hubby "What's the best part of being married to me?" He said:
1. "You buy me books!" We were at the bookstore earlier, you see. And he picked out two books, and said it was my anniversary gift to him. I'm so thoughtful that way.
2. "The seeeeeeex..."
3. "I dunno." He really just wanted me to go away so he could read his new books.

Then I asked "What's the worst thing about being married to me?" He only had two answers for this one:
1. "Nothing."
2. "Having to answer stupid questions, like this one." In other words, go away woman, and let me read my new book in peace!

I love him.
I think a decade of marriage has taught me a few things about love. Surprisingly, roses and cooing doves are not essentials.
Love is not always mushy. After 10 years, a look between us can mean more than a kiss. I know he loves me, in a deep and soulful way, just because. He doesn't have to explain it anymore. I don't question it, I just accept it and be thankful.
We don't need to be together all the time, because we know that sometimes, being apart can be good. It gives you more to talk about later. We are not "just" a couple, we are actually two separate people, and it's good to remember that.
It's okay to disagree. I am suspicious of couples who always agree. One of them must be faking it. It's our different points of view that keep things interesting. Over the years, Hubby has changed my opinion on a few things, and I think I've made him re-think a few things, too. But we still are poles apart on a lot of issues, and I hope it stays that way.
Respect is an attitude, a lifestyle, and an overall way of thinking.

He's my best friend, and even if he won't answer my questions, and would rather read a book than snuggle with me (to be fair, we both have gross, nasty colds), I can't imagine a complete or fulfilling life without him.


Twisted Cinderella said...

Love is not always mushy. Absolutely. Prince Charming and I have this thing where we have reduced a hug to a little squeeze. So, if he reaches over and silently squeezes whatever part of my anatomy he can reach and I squeeze him back we have hugged each other. I love those spontaneous moments.

We don't need to be together all the time We spend a lot of time together but we spend a lot of time together separately. He can be in one room and i can be in another. He has his time that he goes out and does his thing because that makes him a happier guy. And it doesn't mean that he loves me less because he does it. he comes home bubbling over with stuff he wants to tell me, to share with me.

It's okay to disagree. We have certain subjects we disagree on a fundamental level. This leads to many stimulating discussions. It is okay for us to feel differently about things.

Great post!

Dreama said...

you see, it is posts like this that give me hope that there has to be someone out there for me.

Happy Anniversary!

Unknown said...

You give me hope. We just passed our one year mark. With us though, its me who tells him to go away at times coz I have a really good book.

Rootietoot said...

Congradulations!! They say if you make it past the 7 yr mark that you'll make it.

Mushy love is what happens when people are trying to impress each other with the depth of their feelings. The real stuff happens when people are confident in their love for each other, and know the relational hiccups won't jeopardize their relationship.

SD and I just celebrated our 20th. The 2nd 10 years has definitely been more fun than the 1st.

May your next 10 years be interesting and wonderful!

Northern_Girl said...

Yes - congratulations, etc. Good for you and hubby.

Beth said...

Oh God ....I forgot!! I've been working all weekend and days are all starting to run together.
It sounds like you've reached that wonderful place that me and my man have been in for some time.........we are life partners. It doesn't matter that we have totally different temperments, doesn't matter that he lives for soccer (and I would sooner watch paint dry) and that I watch CSI which he thinks is stupid...........We let each other do our thing. Like TC said - one look or a quick touch is like a hug - we know each other that well. And those moments mean more than all the passionate, bodice ripping times of our initial infatuation!! We have history, a home and a family and total acceptance of each other - warts and all.
Congratulations only gets better. Enjoy!

carmilevy said...

In Yiddish, you two would be called Bashert, or fated to one another.

I feel warm and fuzzy all over after reading this entry, Karen. Happy anniversary to you both.

I hope that by reading this post, others see that such fulfillment is indeed possible. This is definitely one for the fridge door.