We took the Terrors to see Santa yesterday. Actually, what really happened is I took the Terrors, and I forced Hubby to come along for crowd control. He has this....issue with Santa. He says that he is not fond of old men who dress up in disguise and ask small children to sit on their laps. Bah humbug, I say.
Girl Terror will not believe in Santa much longer. She has seen pictures of the North Pole, and there is no way she buys the story that he lives there. Yes, he can fly. He can carry enough toys for billions of children. He can be in 40 different malls at the same time. But any idiot knows that only polar bears live at the north pole.
The Santa we went to see happens to be an acquaintance of mine from school. He's the best I've ever seen. His long white beard is real. He wears moccasins (this IS the north, after all). And if he remembers the crash course in Terrors from last Friday, he will even personalize the visit.
So anyway. There the kids were, trying to figure out why the hell they were sitting on some strangers lap, when the oddest conversation happened. Girl Terror was talking to Santa about her Christmas tree.
Santa: "What is on top of your tree?"
GT: "A big, sparkly star! It was Daddy's job to put it there!"
BT: "Daddy's job!"
Santa: "And do you know why we put stars on the top of our trees?"
GT: "Cause Mummy said Daddy would do it!"
Santa: "Because it was the star the led to the Baby. Remember the story of the Baby? With the star?"
What?! Did I hear that correctly?! Santa is telling the story of Baby Jesus, to my child, in the mall? Has he lost his mind? The two icons of Christmas are NOT supposed to interact. It's like time travel. You just know that something is going to get screwed up if the present you and the past you go to meet the future you. Santa and Baby Jesus do not run in the same circles! You don't hear Jesus preaching about the reindeer. The Virgin Mary does not wear a halo of silver garland. There are no Wise Frosty the Snowmen.
I have no idea how I'm going to put these two stories together for Girl Terror. Maybe I could have Santa move to Bethlehem, and that would solve the whole "no life at the North Pole" question, and it would also explain how the Holy Family and Santa Claus got together to invent a holiday based on trees.