Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day

Becoming a parent is a huge decision. Like all major choices, it is important to look at both the positive and the negative points. In case you are in a hurry ("hang on honey, I just need to decide if I want to conceive tonight!") I have thoughtfully listed the major points for you.

Pros of becoming a parent.
1. Hmmm....perhaps we will start with something easier.

Cons of becoming a parent.
1. No weekends. Ever. The calendar says Saturday, but the baby says "5:30! Time to eat!"
2. Sleep is but a fleeting memory. Naps become something you lust after.
3. Lust is reserved for naps. Hot naked people mean nothing to you.
4. The cost. For such small critters, the cost is huge! Diapers alone may cause you to re-mortgage your house.
5. Diapers. They come in a variety of styles, such as "poop filled", "poop over filled", "perfectly dry until you open them up" and my favourite, "middle of the night explosion".
6. No privacy. Parents are never alone. Not on the toilet. Not in the tub. Not in bed, in the car, cooking dinner, on the phone....
7. No social life. Not all of your friends are willing to do stuff with you before 7 pm. Most adults enjoy a life after 7. Not parents.

Okay. The list is getting out of control. Let's be positive.
Pros of being a parent:
1. Warm, soft hugs.
2. Good morning kisses.
3. Unwavering devotion (at least for a few years)
4. Someone to look after you when you're old.
5. Giggles and snuggles every Sunday morning.
6. The fun of seeing the entire world again, as if it were new.
7. You have an excuse to buy really cool toys.

8. I don't know how to put this one in words.....the feeling of knowing that you created this little person. Suddenly, you feel complete. Total. A part that you didn't know was empty gets filled. And over-filled.

Which brings us back to the diapers.


Dreama said...

nice. for childless women, I don't know if we can even explain it for them to understand what becoming a parent means to us. It is my proudest moment - becoming a mother.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Very cute, Mom.

Anonymous said...

Cool toys - and great books. I would have a much harder time explaining my extensive Boynton collection - and why it's out in the living room instead of boxed in the archives - were it not for the presence of the little ones!

And if you think little ones wreak havoc on your sex life, just wait till you try to play with hubs when there's a TEEN in the next room - a teen who knows what rhythmic squeaks mean...

Anonymous said...

Hi--first timer here. Funny post.

To add a couple: on the pros--if you're inclined, you learn a lot more about yourself--your limitations, strengths and weaknesses.

On the cons: people are less interested in you, they really want to engage the baby.

Looking forward to reading more. Thanks for sharing!

carmilevy said...

If parenthood were a logical choice, the species would have been extinct long ago.

I still miss diapers. Changing a dirty one represented the one time when the two of us could spend some uninterrupted quiet time together. It was a neat, albeit smelly dynamic.