Saturday, August 09, 2008

If I could turn back time.

I tried on my wedding dress today. The good news? It still zips up. The bad news? It does not look pretty. Unless, of course, a sausage shaped ball of embroidery and beads is your idea of pretty. To be fair, it's been 12 years and two pregnancies, but I was hoping to lose weight after the wedding, not gain forever and ever in a never ending ode to chocolate.
Girl Terror was thrilled to see my dress. She fanned out the train for me, and admired the bead work. The veil was very popular, especially after I told her I made it myself. Both Terrors tried it on and checked themselves out in the mirror.
I noticed today that the open bead work and embroidery on the train create a huge, lovely pot leaf. Hmmmm. Not quite what I was looking for when I bought the dress!
Twelve years ago, my dress was fashionable. Not the peak of style, but neither was I. Now, I look at it and wonder "Why did I buy a dress that requires me to turn sideways in the doorways?" I also wonder about the wisdom of putting poofy roses on my ass.
If I had to do it again, I would skip the whipped cream dress. I would not put a halo of fake flowers on my head. The wedding party would be cut in half. We would skip the church, the minister, and all that stuff, and be on the beach. We would NOT eat lasagna. Oh, and I would drink. Yup, that might have helped quite a bit.
In fact, there is only one thing I would keep the same. The groom turned out to be a good choice, so I'll hang onto him. But no more poofy dress.

4 comments:

Murray said...

Hopefully you won't have a "next time", but mine was a few months ago - barefoot on a New Zealand beach in the middle of a Yukon winter. While we would have liked to be able to have a couple of friends with us, everything else was perfect. ( http://www.explorenorthtours.com/nz/wedding.html )

dogsled_stacie said...

I also wonder about the wisdom of putting poofy roses on my ass.

LOL!!!

I hear ya, if I ever do the marriage thing again, I'd defnitely go the route of less people and more booze.

Anonymous said...

God No I would go bigger and more with everything except the dress...to much beads and not enough skin! I would want a tiara, flip flops on my feet, more balloons, more fancy type drinks, more dancing, a professional photographer..I could go on and on BUT I would not have been so nice to the Monster outlaw and incorporated some of her crappy ideas/wants seeing as she turned out to be such a dud.

wendy said...

I hear ya!! I would love to have the quiet sunset beach wedding(renewal) someday. It's what he really wanted in the first place.
11 + years later I'm thinking he was right! lol