I got this idea from Jana, the Meanest Mom. It might be the easiest list in the world EVER. Leave a comment if you are brave enough to post your own!
1. I eat my kids Halloween/Easter/Christmas candy when they aren't looking. They never notice.
2. Because I am lazy, I never bundle the kids up and send them out to play in the winter. Instead, I tell them it's "just too cold out today!"
3. After admiring "artwork" for a day or so, I bury it in the garbage can when the artist isn't looking.
4. When my daughter asks me to sing her a lullaby, sometimes I fake a sore throat.
5. I'm not really constipated. I just want to be alone, reading in the bathroom for as long as I can get away with it.
6. I tossed out all the Terror's Valentine cards. First, of course, I peeled the candy off of them. And I ate the candy myself.
7. Sometimes I lie in bed and try to remember why it seemed so crucial to have kids.
8. I would love to be a stay-at-home mom.....if both kids were in school.
9. I hide my son's favourite clothes when he gets obsessed with wearing them out-of-season.
10. I never, ever, ever eat breakfast with my kids. They just annoy me too much at that hour of the day.