Saturday, January 22, 2005

You know you're a Yukoner when...

  • You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
  • Many of your friends have elaborate saunas, but no running water.
  • Your tires are only round in summertime.
  • You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
  • Every street person you see in Vancouver looks like a neighbor.
  • You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
  • Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
  • At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  • When hiking, you can't decide whether to load your shotgun with slugs to protect from bears or #7 shot to repel mosquitos.
  • You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
  • You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck so often.
  • You send Christmas gifts of your precious premium moose jerky to your uncle in Toronto, and he gives it to his dog, who rolls in it.
  • The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
  • The only flower you can grow outside a greenhouse is fireweed.
  • There is only one shopping mall in town.
  • While canoeing on the Yukon River you automatically say "Guten Tag" to all passing canoeists.
  • You buy an umbrella while visiting Vancouver and have to read the instruction manual.
  • You find -60 degrees a mite chilly.
  • You visit a beach at a Mexican resort and go into sexual shock.
  • When someone says "The Nations' Capital" you instinctively picture First and Ogilvie (site of the liquor store)
  • You can drive from Whitehorse to Faro with a litre of ice cream in the back seat,and it is harder when you arrive than when you left.
  • You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorel boots.
  • You can play road hockey on skates.
  • You know the 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction. You freak out whenever you see prices for food in Vancouver grocery stores because everything is so cheap.
  • You were once knocked down and run over by a dog team on main street.
  • Your freezer breaks down but nothing thaws.
  • You visit a friend in Vancouver dressed in your best and he says he keeps smelling wood smoke.
  • You have to wait until 2 AM to light your fireworks because that's the dimmest part of the day on July 1.
  • You wear sandals in June, and walk around the snow piles because if you don't wear them now, you never get the chance.
  • You drive to and from work in the dark.
  • You suspect that many men are carrying a full day's worth of frozen survival rations in their beards.


Anonymous said...

EEk- being from southern Ca- most of this list is alien to me- But I had to laugh about the freezer breaking and the food not thawing- We lived in Co. for a year when I was a kid and we had a milkman. If my mom wasn't quick enough bringing the milk in off the porch it would be slush when we tried to pour it on our cereal...


Anonymous said...

What a great list! Thanks for illustrating even more about what your life is like in regards to where you live. :)

Salsguy said...

About half your list applies to me, exactly as described. Consider me a half - Yukoner here in Winnipeg.

Dimitris Athanasiadis said...

Although totally irrelevant to the above post, I immediately thought of you when I saw this:)

Anonymous said...

Wow, I just came across your blog tonight for the 1st time, and I felt completely connected, especially when I read this post! I live in Alaska (going on 4 years) and am a stay-at-home mom to an 11 month old. I look forward to reading your posts!

Anonymous said...

I googled moose and got your site. I have been reading it and love it. I lived in the bush of Alaska out of Fairbanks and can so totally relate to the you know your a yukoner when... I have 2 kids and can relate to the little ones also. Great site.