Tuesday, March 01, 2005

My perfect house

No, not the one I live in. It's not at all perfect. But this morning while in the shower, I came up with a few things that I will be putting into my perfect house. You know, the house I'm building right after I win the lottery.
-The bathroom. Just a few minor things need changing. First of all, the door will be one of those cut-in-half doors, like on horses stalls. That way, the top half will be open so I can see and hear the Terrors while I'm in there, but (and this is a key feature) they will not be able to come in!!! Nobody hanging off my knees while I'm.....sitting. No one tugging at me when I brush my teeth. No little hands pulling every cupboard and drawer open. Also in the bathroom, I need one of those "spy screens" like I saw on Big Brother. That way, when I'm in the shower I can see what badness they are up to in the living room. Maybe an intercom, too, so I can push the button, and have my voice boom at them "PUT YOUR BROTHER DOWN".
- The kitchen in this house has built in, sliding baby gates. They are incredibly strong, and can withstand the powers of a 27 pound tank. When the little guy is sleeping, the gates slide away into a hidden compartment. This prevents stupid-tired parents from killing themselves in the middle of the night, when they stagger in to find a bottle. The stairway obviously has one of these nifty gates, too.
There's lots more to this perfect house, but it's depressing me to think about it. I have a stack of bills that need paying, and there will be no pennies left over for fantasy homes. If anyone out there has a spare million sitting around, give me a call!

3 comments:

Christine said...

I love your ideas! Especially the sliding baby gate thing. Someone should do that!!

Michele said...

We have a baby gate across our laundry room door to keep the dogs out of the litter box and it never fails, every day, right in broad daylight I trip over that thing. I have actual scars up and down both shins from running into it so much.
I'd be willing to pay big bucks for your magic sliding gate!

aka_monty said...

As I was in Texas last night and therefore purchased two (count 'em, TWO) lottery tickets...I will be happy to share my millions with you as soon as I win tonights drawing. :D