Thursday, March 10, 2005

Useless junk

I was browsing the Christmas catalogue over breakfast this morning, (you read that right) and discovered that there must be a market I had never thought of. Let's call it "Parents with too much money and not enough sense." Wow! What a lot of totally useless stuff for babies! Here are my top choices. Oh, and if you are a parent who owns any of this stuff, I am sorry if I offend you. Maybe I am just cheap and mean.
1. Singing potty. Okay, I'm biased due to my current "potty issues". But I just don't want to teach my kid that if you tinkle, you hear "Twinkle twinkle". It's creepy!
2. A crib that becomes a toddler bed that becomes a single bed that becomes a double bed. If you think for one minute that a bed will last through a toddler and on into the teen years, you are dreaming, my friend. And are you so cheap that you seriously aren't going to buy your kid another bed for the rest of their life?!
3. Ultra suede covered car seat, with 2 cup holders, a toy holder, and plush arm rests. Do you know any child who keeps drinks in the drink holder? Do they need TWO drink holders? Why? So they can need to pee sooner? Ultra I need to explain why this is a bad idea? When the drinks are enroute to the drink holders, you can be sure the juice will leap out for that nice soft seat.
4. Pockets. In anything. All pockets do for a toddler is give them a place to store Cheerios during the laundry. They aren't going anywhere that will require ID, keys, or money. YOU are carrying a bag filled to the brim with their stuff. A 1 inch square pocket isn't going to hold anything. Except Cheerios.
5. Twins jogging stroller. If you have twins, or even two kids in the stroller ages, and you have enough energy to be out jogging, AND pushing the huge stroller, I don't want to know you. I don't want to see you on my street, and I might have to shoot you if you tell me how great you feel after working out.

There's lots more out there, but I might own some of it, so I can't say anything about it.


J&J's Mom said...

I had one of those "singing" potty's for my now almost 6 yr old, and well, he's a boy, and boys can't aim...ever heard what a corroded-singing-potty-seat sounds like?? "Twink..broohoadhdkkh.. lstweia..." ;0)

SuburbaMom said...

I have a friend who is pregnant now for the first time in 12 years (previous marriage - two kids) and she is absolutely overwhelmed at how much stuff there is on the market for pregnant women this time around. said...

Just give them a big cardboard box and they will be happy!

Maura said...

Hi Tammy! It was great to hear from you at my blog today. :-)

Not having any kids, I'm not all that familiar with the "now" must-haves for parents, but I can assure you that there are just as many nutty things for pets!

Heather said...

(New reader here) I always wondered the logic of pockets on newborn clothes and no pockets on Maternity clothes. There is nothing more frustrating than being pocketless for 7 months!

Kimberly said...

I agree with you. There should be "useless" or "useful" rating for these products. I like buying things on sites like amazon becasue you can read the product reviews. They are usually quite helpful when dealing with baby products and toys. Have a great weekend:-)

Michele said...

Heh. Those are the kinds of things that fist time moms get suckered into.
I actually had a crib for my oldest that converted into a twin sized bed, and it might have been kind of useful but I had 3 more kids and there wasn't much left of it by the time I needed twins sized beds.

True Jersey Girl said...

I am visiting via Michele...great post, and I couldn't agree more!!!

Shannon akaMonty said...

Hello! Here via Michele (this time)...but I come here often. ;)

What they really should invent is a remote controlled stroller, so that you don't have to actually push it. Plus you can run people down, which is ALWAYS fun.