Yesterday, I learned a few things. Some of these things any idiot would know, but they have become Very Important Lessons to me.
-Never lean over a lit candle.
-Burning hair turns to stinky ash, which will cover everything in sight.
-There is a reason I pay my regular hairdresser a small fortune.
-There is a reason I don't usually go to whatever salon is open for business at the last second.
-Not everyone with a pair of scissors should be permitted to cut hair.
-I do not look good with half burnt hair.
-I do not look good with hair that's been chopped off to get a melted elastic out of it.
-I do not look good with a short, choppy layered hairdo.
-"No one will ever notice the uneven side" is code for "keep moving your head so people can't figure out what the hell is wrong with your hair".