Sunday, May 15, 2005

I've arrived.

It's official, folks. I've arrived at Middle Age. While out shopping yesterday, I bought a magazine because it had recipes advertised on the front. 20 Delicious Chicken Dinners! Really, who could resist? I remember back in the good ol' days, when I bought Cosmo. In fact, at one time I had every issue for two straight years. I was a Cosmo girl. I read all the fun, young magazines. Now? I can't relate to any of it. I am not fun. I am not young. Sigh. The most crucial decisions in my life no longer have to do with the shade of my eyeshadow. Headlines on front covers that scream "Secrets of Powerful Orgasms" make me tired. The models look like starving orphans to me. Must be all the energy they are burning off, having all those powerful orgasms. Maybe they need some of my new chicken recipes!
Next thing you know, I'll be buying fiber drinks and denture glue. It's all downhill from here. Sigh.

5 comments:

Amy said...

When I hit high school, my relationship with my mother (which has always been good) became even closer. She is first and foremost my mother. But about that point we started realizing we could be good friends too. So perhaps you'll be able to become closer to those Cosmo days through your daughter in the future!

Overshop said...

Middle Ages is when you are reborn into the better part of your life! Enjoy!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You dipshit. You are NOT getting old. You're getting EVEN. Remember all those times that youthful exhuberance got you in trouble? Well, now that you're gaining on Ol' Hoss, you will discover that older is better and wiser and funner. Keep smiling. Jangle gently as you move. Avoid fried meats for they angry up the blood. Don't look back, because something might be gaining on you.

Welcome aboard, kid. It's party time!

SquareSlant said...

Before you buy that denture glue..check in with me...by then I will have found the right brand to buy!

J&J'sMom said...

Hoss called you a dipshit! ;0) LOL...Your as young as you feel...start reading nursing home brochures and doing crosswords at breakfast, and attend a "Geriatrics Anonymous" meeting...you'll feel much better ;0)