Wednesday, May 18, 2005

more randomness

I just don't have enough brain cells to write a decent post. Plus, I think nap time is going to be a joke today, and I need to take at least 2 minutes to pee while they are asleep.
-I am reading "Bridget Jones' Diary" again. Why, I don't know. I read it once, was mildly amused. Then I saw the movie. Now I can't read it without seeing Renee Z. in my head, and I'm not a Renee fan. This time around the book is just irritating me. The British voice in my head won't shut up. She is moaning about being fat. She weighs 125-130 lbs. Get real, woman. I weigh her and another half of her. And this is the best I've looked in years.
-I made my sister-in-law cry this morning. No, I am not very proud of this fact. She's pregnant, so it's not to hard to bring her to tears. I told her we were going to the family reunion. I expected her to be a bit pissed that one of the uncle's is paying for our trip, and no such offer has been made to her. But no, what made her cry was the fact that no one has even told her the reunion was being held. Oops.
-If That Child asks me "why" one more time, I am going to end up in prison.
-Tomorrow I get to go shopping for Hubby's birthday! He is getting an ice-cream cake, yummy.
-Is it illegal to take your children into the liquor store with you? How am I supposed to buy party booze with two Terrors with me?
-I also have to go bra shopping, since as of today none of my bras have two underwires. Lots of one-wired bras. Looking lopsided. I can't WAIT to take my babies bra shopping with me! That should really make the experience more fun!!!
-My best friend was complaining last week about her sex life. Just twice in the last month, and she was drunk both times. All I could think of was "You managed to do it twice this month?! You've been drunk twice?! Why am I missing all the fun times?" I know why, actually. I fall asleep before I have a chance to get drunk, or even think about sex. You need to be awake for both those activities (if you plan to enjoy them, anyway).
-See? Nap time is over already. Good thing I didn't try to write anything worth while!


Lassa said...

I don't dig Renee Z either. And have you seen how skinny she is now after doing Bridget twice??? I wonder if she eats!

MommaK said...

Wow. You've managed to write a post that includes liquor, sex, lingerie and prison. Pretty good for randomness:-)

Kristine said...

I LOVED your added: (if you plan to enjoy them, anyway) -after you wrote: "You need to be awake for both those activities."

Funny funny. :)

Raehan said...

Fun randomness. Did you manage to pee?

graceful said...

Bra shopping with kids. Oy! I've been there! I just had to make sure to go just before snacktime. This way when I try the bras (that I've grabbed off the rack), then I can set a snack out and have a couple minutes of peace. Hope you're able to find some cute ones!

J&J'sMom said...

Random or not you make me laugh...not at you, but because I can sooo relate! Aren't your days longer now? How is that sleeping in the light thing going anyway?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Whoa: If sister-in-law doesn't know about the reunion, does brother? Something quirky going down.

(P.S. Babies don't need bras. But it's nice of you to think of them.)

AverageMom said...

Hoss: You crack me up. I'm married to the brother. And yes, he knows!
JJmom: Days are longer. Very long. I'll write about it soon. Kids don't care if it's the middle of the night, the sun is shining!
Raehan: Nope. No pee for me.
MommaK: I didn't talk about drugs!! What a great role model I am, eh?
Lassa: If I hear anymoe about how she had to get so "huge" blah blah I think I'll wring her skinny little neck.

Indigo said...

I couldn't read the book either, but I did try, twice. Give Jane Green, or Sophie Kinsella a try! Cheers!

angela marie said...

I liked Renee in Chicago, but that's about it. I hated, hated, hated her mousy self in Jerry Maguire. Yeah, like Tom Cruise is going for her!

Nap time is over here, too. Time to make the lunches....

ShoeHound said...

My students constantly ask me why all the time. "Because I said so," doesn't work anymore. "Because you'll go blind," makes them skeptical. So, now I just say, "Z," and they look at me like I am nuts.

Shuts them up every time! LOL

Dawn said...

great you made a pregnant woman cry! You managed to do something today:)

SquareSlant said...

I think you need to change the Title of the Blog to WayABOVEaverageMom - you are a HOOT!

Loved this post.

aka_monty said...

I think we need to each cut our bras in half; between the two of us we could probably come up with at least one WHOLE bra each, complete with two underwires.
I'm tired of looking lopsided. But too lazy to do anything about it. :)