Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The man.

Have I mentioned that I have the best husband in the world? No? Well, I do. (Yes, he reads the blog. No, I'm not sucking up!)
I went out on Saturday night with a few girlfriends. It was absolutely fantastic! We ate at a lovely restaurant, we drank, we danced, we laughed and in general had a wonderful girl's night out. Naturally, a lot of the conversation centered around men.
My best friend, N., is married to someone with a lot of potential. BUT.... there are some serious issues. He's mean to the kids. Really mean. He's rude and occasionally cruel to her. He's not pulling his weight financially, he does nothing around the house, and the list goes on. She needed to rant.
A new friend with us on Saturday. P. was happily married for ten years. They celebrated their anniversary last month. They had plans to go on vacation this fall. They were talking about how wonderful it would be to spend the rest of their lives together. Then, she received an e-mail that was not intended for her. It was supposed to go to their friend. The lady friend, a co-worker of P.'s husband, was going through a rough divorce. She was staying with P and husband for awhile, getting back on her feet. Apparently, she was feeling much better, thanks to the affair P.'s husband was having with her. Yup, her husband was in love with the co-worker/friend/new housemate. The e-mail? Was from him, telling his new love how much he would miss her while he was gone on holiday with his wife. My god, that woman needed a night out. She is so nice, and sweet, and gorgeous. Yet this man had her feeling fat, ugly and old. She keeps wondering what she did wrong.
The ranting, and the raving, and the general husband bashing, was threraputic. I don't generally agree with women sitting around bitching about the misery of men, but for once it was important. These two women needed to talk about things, and needed someone to listen. (It certainly didn't hurt to have a table full of men next to us, asking us to dance all night). The third friend, S, and I, just sat and listened, and poured drinks. S and I really didn't have much to say. We didn't know the answers. We have no idea why these men are acting this way, and we don't see anything our friends could be doing differently. This is totally out of our realm of experience, because S and I are both married to fantastic, wonderful, husbands.
Hubby isn't perfect. He took down my perfectly good, brand-new flowered shower curtain and put the ugly vinyl purple one back up. But that just isn't in the same ballpark as threatening a child's life. He might spend a lot of time on the computer, but he isn't sending love notes to some other woman. While I was out drinking, dining, and dancing, my beloved was home with two toddlers, feeding them, cleaning them, and putting them to bed. While I was sitting in a hotel room listening to my friend cry until the wee hours of the morning, Hubby was staggering upstairs to give his son a bottle. When I got home Sunday, my house was clean. My children were happy. I have always known I was lucky when I found him, but I think on Sunday I hugged him a little tighter, and my heart was a filled with a gratitude for the man, the love, and the life we have.
Now, if only I could convince him to let me decorate our room in pink....


Michelle said...

great post. I know exactly what you mean when you say you don't have anything to add to your friends' man bashing. I feel the same way about my wonderful husband. we're both very lucky to have found such great men. :)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I don't know what it is with (us) men. Some are just like animals, need to make love to everything in sight. But some animals mate for life, so it must not be in the genes. It must be in the dicks. I don't think anybody has this answer. Good for you to have the mate-for-life type.

peebugg said...

I love this post, very well written.

I would go for some throw pillows too..:)

Anonymous said...

I got myself a good husband.

But just as their are bad husbands, I'm sure there are bad wives.

erin said...

Youth should encourage your friend N. to seek counseling for domestic violence and to leave him,this husband sounds like danger.