Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Cheese

When Yvonne, over at Joy Unexpected, talks about cheese, it means she is saying wonderful things about her lovely family. Here? It's cheese. The dairy product. So if you are looking for the love, go see Yvonne. If you are craving a snack, but don't want to ruin your diet, stick around.
Remember when I said Hubby was teaching me new things, and I was learning to appreciate quality, and all that stuff? Remember I said we were trying new kinds of cheese, and broadening my horizons? Ha. Give me back my marble cheese, thanks so much.
Today Hubby bought Limburger cheese. Just because he hadn't tried it before, and it seemed like a good idea. I mentioned that you know, everyone says it is pretty stinky cheese, but he likes weird stuff, so we brought it home. Later in the evening, he put some on crackers and brought it to me to taste. I sniffed it, and my nose crawled up into my skull. Then, Mistake #1, I took a tiny crumb in between my fingers. Mistake #2, I put it in my mouth. Mistake #3, I swallowed. Have you tried this cheese? It has a very unique taste. And smell. The smell on my fingers would NOT wash off. After I tore up the stairs, retching and trying to get rid of the horror in my mouth, I scrubbed the hand that had touched the cheese with hot water and dish soap. I can still smell it. The smell is nothing compared to the taste, though. It took a lot of thought, and discussion, but I think we've come up with a fairly accurate description.
If you took a slice of, say, blue cheese, and slid it into the ass crack of an unwashed hobo (in a hot country), and then licked it out again two months later, you might have the taste of this cheese.
The cheese is sealed in a baggie, buried in the trash. I personally think I should be hired by some hoity-toity cheese magazine to write descriptions to go next to the pretty photos of cheese. I actually have some really nice things to say about marble cheese, now.

11 comments:

J&J'sMom said...

You have just convinced me NEVER to try Limburger...thanks so much.

Goat gouda is really stinky..but yummy! ... and it washes off your fingers when you're done. ;0)

Raehan said...

I didn't used to like stinky cheese, but I do now. Just send your cheese my way.

And some wine...and chocolate.

I'm set.

Hope your fingers smell better now.

wendy said...

Thanks for that wonderful description! I dont' think I will ever have the urge to try limburger cheese and I am sure I will have a laugh next time I see it at the grocery store!!

Mamacita said...

I know someone who used to put an open package of limburger cheese in other people's refrigerators at the end of a visit. It's not me but I married him.

He was a little kid at the time so I figured it was safe.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You're hopeless. You're the kind of girl who would turn up her nose at fried crickets, for cripe's sake.

tales north said...

Oh man that is SO nasty!!! I hope the smell is gone! Thanks for the heads up - I think I will stick to some good ol' cheddar!

Beth said...

I have heard of Limburger cheese,and it's smell, but don't think I've ever seen it in the store. I love cheese!! Eat it almost everyday - don't like blue cheese though - those blue veins mean mold to me and mold makes me gag. Think I'll pass on the Limburger. Did Tim like it??

Rita said...

I was taught at an early age by the Little Rascals Show that Linburger cheese is nasty...thanks to the Rascals I have never come anywhere near it!

Lisa said...

Wow! How many unwashed hobo ass cracks have you licked before??

Cuileann said...

ewwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Y said...

Holy shit, I laughed my ass off at "here? It's cheese." haaaa. Love it.