Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Bye, bye love.

Big Dolly is gone. Finally. I was getting tired of seeing her lying naked in my son's bed, with her bare boobies sticking up in the air, and her blonde curls all over his sheets. It took quite a bit of work to get rid of her. First, her arms fell off. (Remember, she was really, really cheap). Then Boy Terror stood on her torso, and her chest cracked under the pressure. Her shoulder seams snapped, and things started getting ugly. I tried keeping clothes on her, but without arms, the dresses just got stuck in her shoulder cracks. We all agreed it was time for her to hit the road. Girl Terror was remarkably calm about tossing her Dolly into the trash. Since the the blonde Amazon would not fit into the can, I stood her next to the trash to be taken out at the next opportunity. For two days, I tripped over a naked blonde every time I walked by the garbage. Finally, Hubby ripped her legs off, and we tossed the parts into the trash can. It was a bit disconcerting to open the can to put in supper remains, and have a blue-eyed life size doll torso looking up at me. When she was finally kicked to the curb, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then Boy Terror wandered into the living room carrying an arm. Turns out he's pretty attached to Dolly's arms. He doesn't want me to throw them out. I plan to hide them at the bottom of the garbage while he is asleep, but in the meantime, I keep finding an arm in the blocks, or under the bed, or worst of all, stuck standing up between the couch cushions. This morning he brought an arm to me so I could kiss the fingers. Not friggin' likely. As soon as he turns his bizarre attention elsewhere, I am rounding up all plastic body parts, and hiding them in the garbage. I can only imagine the future sessions with his therapist...

4 comments:

TC said...

LOL! I am laughing at the mental image of his simple request that you kiss her arm! LOL Too funny.

Karyn said...

Send me the arms!! J/K, but my almost two year old son is obssessed with our real arms. He has to hold them and touch them to calm down and wants us to stand by his crib so he can stroke our arms while he falls asleep. I keep trying to think of where I can get a life-like arm for him to cuddle. How macabre does that sound? Hopefully he'll just grow out of it! I mean, I've heard of leg-men, but arm-men?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"Well, lad, if you're not a boob man, and you're not a leg man, and butts don't turn you on, what does?"

Raehan said...

Very funny and sounds like the right decision to me.