Tuesday, May 16, 2006

When you have no better topic, you can always talk about your boobs.

Things I learned while writing this post:
1. I don't dress appropriately for the weather.
2. My friends are a very diverse bunch.
3. Some of my friends aren't very nice.
4. I love typing the word "boob".

We were at a lovely party on Saturday night (and yes, I wore the summery skirt with bare feet!) and I totally enjoyed myself. But ever since, I've had a nagging feeling. A poke in the back of my mind. The kind of thing that will drive a person nuts.
A group of us were discussing tattoos. Pete has several, and is planning his next. Natalie just got her first one in March. Dave has none, but is opinionated and loud, so he was part of the conversation. Anyway. I said that if I ever got a tattoo (which is very unlikely), I would want a butterfly, just over my left boob. Or right boob. Doesn't matter. Top of boob. Pete asked why I'd bother, since only Hubby would ever see it there. Before I could respond, one of the others piped up with "What?! Have you never seen her boobs?! Everyone has seen them!" Pete wondered if perhaps I had a compulsive flashing desire, but no. My "friend" said "Think about all her shirts. They're all v-necks, low, and chosen to show off her boobs!"
So. To sum up, my friend thinks I'm a showy slut, with no fashion guidelines other than cleavage baring. It made me wonder....Do I really have no decent shirts? When I'm out of the room, is everyone going "Man, she's got them all hanging out in our faces again." Am I THAT girl? I know I shouldn't let it bug me, but it does. The last 3 mornings when I got dressed, I was very conscious of my cleavage showing/hiding. Argh. I'm going to end up a nun if I don't stop obsessing.


Babaloo said...

This is a very funny post the way you wrote it. Thanks for sharing! If it were me, though, I think I would be offended if someone (friend or not) said that to me... it just sounds a little "off." How did the other friends react?

Beth said...

I can't recall you wearing anything to 'show off your boobs' when you were here!! (You're right - it is fun to type 'boobs') Anyway if you got em , flaunt them - I say!! LOL Anyway, did it ever occur to your 'friend' that those of us with weight issues follow the established 'dress to look thin' guidelines?? One of which is to wear V-neck tops....along with vertical stripes, solid colors , no belts, A-line cuts etc. etc.!!!

Rootietoot said...

I think perhpas your friends lack tact.
Personally, I like showing my boobs. (such a nicer word than tits, doncha think?)
Before Kids, I had teeny boobs and even a wounderbra didn't give me cleavage. NOw I'm 40 with 4 kids, and given the right bra I have Magnificent Boobs, like the prow of the Queen Mary, and I love v-necks and wraps. Boobage is good and anyone who comments negatively is probably just jealous.
ps-good on your for wearing the summer skirt anyway.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I think you should move -- and leave that "friend" behind.

RWB said...

Speaking for men everywhere we love for women to show off cleavage...The down side is constant eye contact during a conversation, it takes total concentration because every fiber in our body is telling us “go ahead take a quick peek”…Women tend to be a catty when it comes to other women showing the goods but I'm with Beth if you got em, flaunt em and Shake them haters off!

Jeannie said...

agree totally with everyone else.
Your friend is not a friend but an evil envious bitch. Or she's simply not daring enough to show her cleavage due to an overly pious upbringing. I love showing cleavage. It's all I have left. I am the first to call myself slutty too but I am kidding. Sort of. The what not to wear people would be fine with showing attractive cleavage - as long as your shirts aren't overly tight and showing unnecessary rolls etc.