Friday, June 02, 2006

I see a teenage pregnancy in our future.

I don't know how Mary Poppins does it. She runs a daycare, and seems chipper and perky and all those good things. Me? I've got an 18 month baby girl here during the day for two weeks, and I think I might need to take up drinking. At breakfast.
Don't get me wrong, she's adorable. Cute, tiny little girl with a head full of blond curls. She naps and eats like an angel. But still, the jump from two kids to three is making me glad Hubby and I are done having Terrors.
Nap time is a military operation. It all has to be timed perfectly in order to have all three tucked in at the same time, without completely throwing off Baby Girl's personal schedule. Meals are fun now that we get to see options. Boy Terror wants what Baby Girl is having. Baby Girl wants whatever Girl Terror is eating. I've tried explaining to my two that BG's mummy packs her lunch every day, and it is just enough for one little tummy. I've tried to get the Terrors to eat without showing their new friend every bite. I've tried to convince myself that vodka and valium are not as bad as they sound, and surely they belong to a food group, somewhere.
I can't discipline a child that isn't mine. If she hits (with her tiny little fist) someone, I don't have it in me to do more than get her to give hugs to the victim. If she chooses not to eat her veggies, I still give her the rest of her lunch. She pulls out all the toys off all the shelves, all at once, and I actually help her spread them around the room. Arghh.
Now, the absolute worst thing has happened. Girl Terror wants another baby. A girl baby, she says. I've told her we are NOT doing that, but she persists. Today she told me (again) that she is having four children of her own. Two girls, two boys. And she will have them whenever she wants.

5 comments:

Rootietoot said...

temporary babies are the very best kind.More power to you. If someone asked me to do that I'd probably twitch an eyelid and tell them I could after the meds kick in.

Pamela said...

I applaud you m'dear. Wait, I watch two little boys every day. Quick! Someone applaude me then ply me with valium!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

If she can put it off till she's 14, maybe she will discover boys and the after-doing-it pill.

God forbid.

Mary P. said...

Ha! Thanks for the link! No, I posted mine BEFORE you posted this one, so, nothing to do with you. Not to worry. Pretty funny, though...

Reminds me of my cousin, Jeremy, who at about the age of four had an invisible friend by the same name, who had an "invisible daddy who never went to work, and an invisible mommy who never yelled". A world in which everything goes however he wants. So there.

He ended up okay, if you overlook the year he grew a scraggly beard to mid-chest, then celebrated Christmas by dying it red, green, and white, and then braiding the coloured strands together...

Prego said...

I always told my wife if we have a daughter, we're going Muslim.

It's a living hell, isn't it?
p