I just read an article in Oprah magazine about "purity balls" and I am thinking it has got to be a joke. Really. Am I the only one who sees something deeply disturbing about this?
Fathers and daughters sign pledges together. The father's pledge talks about protecting his daughter, being her authority in the area of sexual purity, and being the high priest of his home. The daughter promises to stay a virgin (pure) until marriage. The mother.... hmmm. I don't know what her role is. I personally think sexuality would be more appropriately discussed between a girl and her mother, but what do I know. Mummies and little boys don't need "purity pledges" apparently. This is all about girls and their daddies. Oh. My. God.
Now, I have nothing against virginity. In fact, I plan on my own daughter being a virgin until she's in her late 40's. I think sex is given and taken far too freely. However, I hope that when my children decide to have sex (excuse me while I go throw up a little) they make the choice on their own, using their own sense of morals, values, and commitment. If Girl Terror comes to her father and asks if she should "do it" with Little Johnny, I will wonder if she is smart enough to be loose in the world. If Boy Terror calls me up and asks if now is a good time to sleep with his girlfriend, I will run screaming and shrieking to the liquor store.
I hope that throughout their lives we will teach them how to act, and what love is all about, and respect for themselves. I hope they will have the confidence to make major decisions, knowing that the way they were raised has created wonderful, intelligent people.
Choosing to have (or not have) sex is a very personal thing. Thought processes change over time, circumstances can alter opinions, and no one can know years in advance exactly when, who, or where will be the "perfect" one.
When my daughter take that big step, (again I want to throw up, or at least curl up in the fetal position and plug my ears) I hope that she is happy. I hope she makes wise decisions. And most of all, I hope that her father and I are the furthest thing from her mind.