Tomorrow morning, before the crack of dawn, I am getting on a plane and going to Toronto for 5 days. I am going to a course I need (so I will be qualified to do the job I've been doing since September) and the highlight, in my mind, is the King Size Bed I will have ALL TO MYSELF for the four nights. No one will call me to change a butt during the night. I will not be woken up by someone else's nightmares. I will get ready every morning in peace and quiet. This will be the first time I've been alone since I got married. Really. I went on a trip last spring, but I had 50 students with me. Not alone. Yes, the entire city of Toronto will be there, and I will be in classes all day, but I will not see any familiar faces for 5 days. And this is where the problem comes in.
Girl Terror cried 3 mornings last week just thinking about me going away. Every morning, she wakes up and the first thing she says is "How many days until you leave?" She is sad and mopey anytime she thinks about it. I've tried being upbeat, I've tried not talking about the trip, but she is fixated on the lack of Mummy snuggles she will be getting for those 5 days.
Today, we had a girl day. Just the two of us. We took the car in for winter tires. We did a bit of shopping. She had her first Japanese lunch (sushi is her new favourite food), and we went to the library. By the time we got home, we had talked about the upcoming week, and I think it will be okay. She got her dose of time with me, and now she is ready to be a daddy's girl for a while. However, I have a problem.
I spent the day with my daughter, admiring her humour and poise. I got to share my favourite restaurant with her, and see her experience something new. I hugged her close and read to her in the library. Now I remember why I love this little girl so much, and I am not at all ready to leave for five days. I will be all alone, no hugs at midnight, no one needing me, no snuggles.
That king size bed is going to be good, though.....