Saturday, December 06, 2008

Ho ho ho, it's yellow snow.

Everyone has their own ideas about the holidays. That's fine. I can accept that not all people think the same way as me. But you should know, I'm right. Really.
I like my house decorated a certain way. The lights are white, the garland is of the everygreen variety, and the ornaments on the tree are tasteful burgundy, gold, and ivory. Everything throughout the house is "just so". This is the way I like it. Elegance is the key word. The crystal snowflakes hanging in the entrance are all placed carefully. The glass balls nestling in the boughs around the bathtub are spaced evenly. If I could, I would paint the walls, change the bedding, and rearrange the furniture so everything would be perfect.
Like I said, not everyone is like me. (Sigh.) My husband likes flashing, multi-coloured lights. And not normal flashing, either. He goes for the strobe light, seizure-inducing type. If Boy Terror could, he would place all his favourite ornaments on one branch of the tree. Thankfully I've had the brightest idea of giving both kids their very own trees to decorate. My friend Buffy, who in most respects is an intelligent lady, wants to buy SINGING LIGHTS. Yes. Lights that are bright colours, AND musical. Her neighbours should be glad that she can't find any outdoor singing lights.
My mother sends me a parcel every Christmas. It's chock full of "stuff the kids might like". That's code for "crap that does not fit in with my holiday theme of the year". Yes, I come by the insanity quite honestly. This year, she sent me a full set of snowmen, ranging from a foot tall to 3 tiny tree ornaments. There were seven in total. As I unpacked the box, I kept thinking "surely this is the last one. There can't be more." It was a never ending line of yellow snowmen. Oh, did I not mention? They were yellow. Made of some type of resin, with a "quilted" coat and hat, and finally, the finishing touch, a fake fur trim on each one's coat. All in pale yellow. I looked for a picture, but you'll just have to use your imagination. I couldn't think what on earth I would do with these 7 hideous things. So I took them to work, and gave them away.
Don't judge me. Judge my co-workers, who thought they were "Cute! Adorable! How much?" Yes. One woman was willing to pay money for yellow snow. Within an hour, all seven snowmen were gone.
Everyone has their own ideas about holiday decorating. No matter how crazy you might think I am, at least I don't have yellow snowmen hiding in the house.

3 comments:

WackyMummy said...

Good for you. It's got to be just so. My just so stuff is high out of Evan's reach, but my good stuff is packed away and will be for the next dozen or so years. :) As for yellow snowmen.... do you want some blue snowman heads to go with that? don't ask. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Come on now...Singing lights would rock (and lets be honest my neighbors think I am off my rocker anyway). I as you know side with your hubby, the brighter, the flashier, the tackier the better...although I draw the line at yellow snowman....maybe...lol
Buffy

Anonymous said...

Hey! I like my snowman thank you very much! Even though you broke him :) I will be taking him with me when I leave.

ME