Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Teacher Karma

Every teacher has a student who is invisible. You never see this kid. They randomly send e-mails saying things like "I'm going to be absent this week, can you send me my homework?" and you wonder "Who is this kid? Should I just send him the entire curriculum?" Or his mother calls and says "So sorry Johnny was absent today. He got his wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. What did he miss?" and rather than state the obvious, that her child has missed all of grade 10, you go with the easy route and say "Nothing major. Tell him to get better fast!" Without fail, you will run into this student every where outside of school.

On Friday night, a group of my teacher friends and I headed out to celebrate the first night of vacation. We started at the bowling alley (did you know they serve ALCOHOL there?!!) and then moved our party to a local watering hole. While we were at the bowling alley, having the time of our sheltered lives, I enjoyed a few gin and tonics. And then, of course, I ran into Invisible Johnny. Right there, in the bowling alley, while I was going for a refill. Seeing all his teachers whooping it up, he decided to skip the pleasantries and go right for the blackmail. "Mrs. F, are you DRUNK?" What do you suppose I said? Did I pull it together and say "Why Johnny, I've certainly missed you in class this last month. Excuse me while I go get a drink of milk"? No. Not at all. I, in all my wisdom, bellowed back at him "F%&$, no!!!" and I continued on my merry way.

To add more insult to injury, I went to a movie with a friend last night. Guess who was working the concession stand? Mmm-hmmmm. Guess who has a fantastic memory for out-of-school actions? Yup. Suddenly the invisible student is very, very visible. And he's everywhere.


Anonymous said...

Too funny! Do I love small towns? "F%&$, YES!!!" I hope that Johnny is Kind as well as Invisible :)

Matt, Kara, Hunter and Cavan said...

That was so funny!!! You have the best way of putting these stories down.

daeniilänen Kivääri said...

Welcome to my life as a teacher. Now that I teach downtown where all my students live, it is impossible to have dinner, drink, or a movie without my students or a parent-teacher interview.

Oh to be an invisible teacher.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to wish you the best the holidays have to offer!

May you and your smile never be separated in 2009.


Anonymous said...

HA! I know exactly what you mean. I GREW UP in Whitehorse. Try doing anything that wouldn't get back to your parents. Or you couldn't explain to your parents. Because they would definitely find out.

I now live in a smaller town--Healdsburg, CA. It is smaller than Whitehorse, but luckily, San Fran is worth the drive for the night out.

Good luck with Johnny Student.