My conversations with Me.

I talk to myself.  It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I have A LOT of words to get out.  I talk all day to the students, I chatter mindlessly at Hubby, and I hold wonderful conversations with Lucy The Dog.  Sometimes I even talk in my sleep.  But lately, I've found myself muttering under my breath to myself quite a bit.  I started listening (ha!) and here are my top conversations with Me.

"WHY can't anyone else figure out how to put toilet paper on the roll??  It's not that hard, I swear."
"If I put it down here, and now it's not here, and it's only been 3 seconds, what the hell happened?"
"Gotta remember the laundry.  Gotta remember the laundry.  Gotta remember the laundry."
 "Oh for @($# sake.  How hard is it to just open the dishwasher?"
"For the love of all that is holy, I am going to lose my mind if I have to listen to this any longer."
"Listen, idiot, the road is not that tricky.  Either drive or get out of the way."
"TURN OFF YOUR SIGNAL LIGHT!!!!!  There are no turns for the next 6 kms!!"
"So tired.  SOoooooo tired.  So tired......"

Sometimes I put these things to music, and end up singing to the dog.  Apparently my subconscious feels that if the tune is cheerful, it's okay to call her a stupid idiot with a bony butt.

So tell me.  Do you talk to yourself?  What's your favorite topic to mutter?

Communicating with a seven year old boy.

Scene:  Last night, while watching TV.  Yes, I know.....If I want answers I should really take him to an empty room, sit him in a metal chair, and shine the lone lightbulb in his eyes.

Note:  Many of my lines were repeated, while waiting for a response.

Me:  So, did you give your teacher your pizza money today?

Boy Terror:  (silence)

Me:  Hey!!!  Did you give your teacher your pizza money today?

BT:  Hmmmm? What money?

Me:  The money that I put in the envelope, and put in your backpack.

BT:  Oh that.  I remember that.  I put it in my backpack.

Me:  And then, when you got to school, did you give it to your teacher?

BT:  Yep.

Me:  Did she say anything?

BT:  Nope.  She wasn't there.

Me:  She wasn't there?  Then how did you give her the money??

BT:  I gave it to the substitute.

Me:  Oh.  And did the substitute put it on the teacher's desk?

BT:  She didn't know what to do with it.

Me:  Seriously??  So what did she do with it?

BT:  She put it back on my desk.

Me:  YOUR desk?  She put the money back on your desk?

BT:  Yep.

Me:  IS IT STILL THERE??

BT:  Nope.

Me:  Where is it?!!

BT:  She put it on my desk.

Me:  Got that.  What happened after that?

BT:  She didn't know what to do with it.

Me:  I heard.  Is it still on your desk?

BT:  I don't think so.

Me:  Was it on your desk at the end of the day??

BT:  Yep.

Me:  Was it on your desk when you left to come home?

BT:  Nope.

Me:  Do you know where it is right now????

BT:  In my backpack.

Me:  The envelope is still in your backpack?!

BT:  I tried giving it to the teacher.

Me:  So, right now, if I go upstairs, I will find the money IN YOUR BACKPACK???

BT:  I think so.


This is why I'm grey.  And also why he might not get pizza.