Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Just say NO!

I delivered five babies today. All in half an hour. Let me explain, since really, I shouldn't let you get so excited. It's not as fun as it sounded!
Last spring, I ordered five infant simulators. After spending the last month discussing relationships, healthy, safer sex, parenting choices, and pregnancy, the students were ready for a baby. Today was the big day. We've practiced. We've talked. And I've demonstrated every possible way to deal with the crying Baby. Five students. Five babies. So far? One student has ditched the assignment, and another student has called me to say she only had one kind of diaper, and Baby was crying, and her boyfriend was not impressed. I drove down to school and got the missing diaper and delivered it. She opened the door, and looked exactly like a new mom should. Woo hoo! Assignment working!!
The teacher in the room next to me stopped in this morning, and pointed out that my room is like a shrine to celibacy. On one wall, I have student-made posters extolling the horrors of Sexually Transmitted Infections. Like all good posters, they are complete with colour photos. Have you ever SEEN gonorrhea? Click on the link. Go look. I dare you! I'll wait here while you puke. Okay. That one wasn't so bad. If you need convincing, check out syphilis. Or any of the other nasties.
On the opposite wall, I have several quotes about birth control. "People rarely get pregnant while bowling" (co-worker). "A crying baby is the best form of birth control." On a table under these quotes I had all the Babies lined up, waiting for their new parents. No matter where you looked in my room today, the message was clear. And, for some, nauseating!
Somedays, it's fun to be me.

4 comments:

Fawn said...

Wow, high tech! How long does the assignment last? I wonder if the babies have different personalities? LOL It reminds me of my high school days, although all WE used was a hard-boiled egg. ;)

Meandering Michael said...

Fawn, you got to boil your egg? We had to carry ours around raw!

MaryP said...

I love it! There is nothing like a newborn to make you take birth control very, very seriously...

Michele said...

ha! I love it! I've always wanted one of my kids to take that class.