I rolled over in bed the other night, and peered at the clock. Waaaaay too early. Just before my eyes sank shut again, I caught a glimpse of....glowing green? What the hell?! Why are there great big glowing EYES looking at me from the floor? How long has that creature been watching me sleep?! What the f#@k is IT??!??
I told myself to not panic. Surely it was just one of the cats. I wiggled my legs around, and found two furry kitties in the bed, right where they belong. Hmmmm. Not a kitty. With one eye peeked open, I checked the floor again. Yup. Two. Big. Glowing.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Okay. I had to be dreaming, right? A giant snake with eyes on top of it's head would clearly not be hanging out on my floor. Perhaps a dream?
Quick check. Nope. Not a dream.
I finally decided to be brave and sacrifice myself for the good of my children. I stuck one foot out, and waited for the fangs. Nothing. I flung my entire (glowy white naked) self out of the bed, and stomped right between the eyes of the monster. Nothing. Nothing at all. Very, very carefully I tiptoed to the door, and turned on the hall light.
There, lying on my floor, were my pink fuzzy slippers, with the glow in the dark hearts.
Moral of the story? Grown ups should not wear pink fuzzy slippers, especially if they tend to panic easily.