Hubby and I watched a new show last night, and I hate to admit to it. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is like nothing I have ever seen before. We were transfixed, horrified, and unable to look away. It was a lot like a nasty train wreck (which, given the proximity of Honey's house to the tracks, is a strong possibility) and yet it was incredibly hilarious. I think I should feel bad laughing at these people, but if you go on TV, and display all of your personality, you have to expect the world to be amused. It wasn't all for entertainment, though. I learned many, many things. It wouldn't be fair to keep these nuggets of wisdom to myself.
-Your house CAN be right on the train tracks, and stay standing. Nothing says "fun!" like a railroad track in your backyard!
-Too many girls in the bathroom smells like "hairspray and desperation"
-Cheese balls are the breakfast of champions.
-Pageant queens make their belly chub talk.
-If you have all your teeth, you're NOT a redneck!
-Redneck Games are just like the Olympics, but "with a lot of missing teeth, and a lot of butt crack showing".
-Women of "voluptious" size should NOT be sharing their "vajiggle jaggle" with the rest of the viewing world. It is not "beautimous".
-Bobbing for pig feet is only really gross when there is no "cookedness" to the pig feet.
-"If you fart 15 to 20 times a day, you can lose a lot of weight."
-Boy pigs who dress up like glamour girls are gay. And you can't tell a pig he can't be gay if that's what he wants!
-Pregnant girls have big bellies because they swallowed a baby.
-Female genitals are called a "biscuit", for obvious reasons!
All that from just two episodes. Did you watch? What did you think? I plan to tune in again next week to see what Honey Boo Boo and her clan are up to, and in the meantime I'm off to fart a lot so I can get my vajiggle jaggle under control and become beautimous!!